Relation Enhancement and Coaching

You don’t have to be in conflict, or crisis to benefit from relationship counselling. Many people come to a therapist before problems occur or if they anticipate problems in the future. People also come to a therapist to manage better changes in their life or simply to enhance their relationships. Relationship coaching and enhancement is about making good relationships better. The key to doing this lies in working out what is needed and managing that change in the best way possible.

Most people learn their ‘managing behaviours’ and attitudes from their families of origin and their life experiences. However, especially in the modern world, we are often faced with issues that we’ve never encountered. Similarly, we may encounter issues and situations that were not handled well in the past. This is especially the case when the situation involves issues that where traumatic or problematic in previous relationships or in our family background. We can be left at a loss - bewildered or feeling powerless - when in actual fact the solution can be relatively simple. The old experience and learning can create ‘blind-spots’ that make it hard to get the outcomes that we want. What helpful solutions can relationship counselling/coaching offer?

• Setting new directions and redefining relationships: For relationships to be successful, over time they need to change to meet the changing needs of the individuals. Sometimes it is important to stop and re-assess where you want your relationship to go and what kind of relationship you want. A clinician can facilitate this in a way that can be constructive, helpful and less confronting.


• A different perspective: Sometimes, simply an unbiased, different perspective can be extremely helpful in working your way through a relationship issue. Often a different perspective from a person that is not involved can release a ‘stuck issue’ and help find a new solution. A clinician can offer a unique perspective based on the experience of literally hundreds of people in a similar situation, and offer new ways forward.


• A professional opinion: Professional opinions can be based on years of clinical experience and clinical research and can be drawn from a wide range of sources. Part of this process is what is called normalisation. Many elements of life are private and not talked about. As such, in certain situations, people do not know what is normal and what is not. Issues or taboos such as sex and aging are good examples. In clinician can help you to understand what is normal and what is not, and what is fair for you to expect. This can help people stop worrying about problems that they don’t need to have, and have more energy and focus to deal with issues that do require attention.


• Helpful suggestions: Clinicians can offer helpful suggestions that can be drawn from their own life experience and also their clinical practice. Sometimes making small changes in behaviour and doing new things can make a significant difference.


• Professional Strategic Planning: Sometimes issues or situations require a formal plan of approach. Such issues require action and are too important, too serious or too worrying to approach in a casual basis. A clinician can help you formulate strategies, and develop responses that will increase the chances of a better outcome.


• Support: All active change requires work of some sort. At times this can be stressful, difficult and overwhelming. A therapist can provide this support and encouragement when the going gets tough.


• Monitoring and Review: When you make changes, the experience can be very confusing and it’s easy to get lost along the way. Also, a plan or strategy may simply not work. A clinician can assist in monitoring the process and reviewing progress. Also too, if necessary they can provide help in changing direction and resetting goals if the need arises.